The Psychology of People Who Love Being Alone

I'm not avoiding anyone. I'm choosing myself.

Yesterday I canceled plans.

For the third time this week.

Not because I was sick. Not because something urgent came up. Simply because the idea of going out, being around people, having to be socially “present,” made me feel exhausted before I even left the house.

And I felt guilty. Because that’s what they teach us, isn’t it?

That needing to be alone is selfish. That choosing solitude over company is anti-social. That there’s something fundamentally wrong with preferring your own silence to the noise of other people.

But is there?

For years I believed that.

I forced myself to go to events I didn’t want to attend. I accepted invitations that drained me. I pretended to be happy in environments that made me feel suffocated. All because I thought there was something wrong with me for needing so much time alone.